If I finally break down, this is the reason.
I have seen people get tired in the end. Being right when the regime is wrong is never easy. Even if it can be fun. But it's not the opponents who risk bringing me down. It's someone else.
I have been holding out here on the national barricade for a long time now. So far, nothing has made me step down or quit. But if I get broken, I know why. Let me tell you about it, so you'll know if it happens.
It is a long unspoken truth that our opposition is still at the stage where primarily two categories of people come to us. On the one hand, really good people full of idealism, sacrifice and drive. They are the salt of the earth who want to make a positive impact, build a better future and are in every way fully functioning individuals.
The second category consists of people who simply cannot function in society because they lack the fundamental building blocks for it. They are commonly referred to as "weirdos" and come in different versions. However, what binds them together is their inability to cope with the world and this is expressed in negative behavior and thinking. So because they blame themselves. All their shortcomings are someone else's fault. And in addition, their destructive life choices, someone else has to bear the brunt. They come to us - usually - because they believe that the negative image of us (as spread by the media and others) is true and that in our company you can behave just as you please.
Unfortunately, we have been bad at telling them to fuck off. We apologize to the wreckers. Maybe because we think they will change in and of our community, maybe because we don't want to lose a single person from our community.
My big problem is that I always feel complicit when they screw up. Which they eventually do. Every time and with or without the help of journalists. I don't hold it against them that young people get into trouble, that's part of being young. But when adults drag the world view and political idea that I've spent a whole life fighting for through the mud, it's not fun.
It can be about astonishingly stupid positions or showing source criticism like a jute bag. Or even worse, acts of violence that leave you speechless. I then think, as the loud public figure I am: am I part of this? Has anything I have said or done contributed to this debacle?
Here, one is forced to take either point of view. Either my words, reasoning and public positions make me complicit if someone uses them as a pretext for foolishness. Or not.
I choose: not.
It would be one thing if I had power that meant that my words are orders that others must follow. Or if my words are related to a specific event (the way American free speech laws work). I cannot be blamed for someone taking my words as a pretext for folly through their own mental process.
The realization spreads a calm in my mind.
Then the lightning strikes. Why is "my movement" so thick with such things? Why do all of us who belong to the idealistic crowd so often have to see our work tarnished or even destroyed by the "weirdos"?
I think back and forth. Then I come to a conclusion. Our movement is not unique. All social/political/religious movements suffer from the same stupidity, albeit in a different form. For these "weirdos" are not loyal to a particular idea, they choose the one they first encounter. The problem for us is that our foe never lets us forget "our" weirdos.
Because while the left gets away with praising terrorists and mass murderers, we are forced to "take responsibility" for every nutcase who has done something crazy and had some connection to "us", however minimal. It is enough that the perpetrator showed up at a demonstration once because he or she was (in the name of equality) "involved in the extreme right-wing environment".
But it's not just these weirdos who risk breaking me. It's all the others, who you come across from time to time and who make you gasp and shudder. If I told you, you would never believe me. You must have been there, but you should be glad you didn't have to. But no, I will not give examples, not this time. That will have to wait until my biography, a thick one.
But one thing is certain: If I ever throw in the towel, it will be because one of all these fools finally caused something to break inside me. The authorities breathing down my neck or all the nasty words and rumors spread by cretins on the internet, no, it doesn't affect me. External resistance only makes me harder and more stubborn.
Nonsense though, it breaks me down. It sucks the life out of me. It makes the internal misanthrope look up and laugh at me. It makes me a little more crazy every time. And with social media, a steady stream is guaranteed to be delivered. Stop using social media you say ... well, right now I can't because these services have become an artery.
The truth is that I am exaggerating. Most people are not weirdos, not even close. It's just that they stand out and once you deal with them, it stays with you. That's why the media love them. They love to write about some fool who planned some devilish thing and then say that he also posted on a national chat room. They know it stays in people's minds.
For our part, we can't do much more than we do. Except for one thing. When we run into the weirdos; yes, you have done it just like me, we should not gloss over anything but stand firm as a wall of healthy Swedish nationalism and declare that "you don't belong here". And we should also be very clear that hate-filled lunatics who cannot cope with the most basic tasks that a society - any society - requires of them, do not belong with us.
You will always succeed, much love and respect to you dear Mr Magnus Söderman 🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💙💙💙💛💛💛💛🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪
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